legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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