I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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