I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
