my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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