Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
