Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
