I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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