allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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