Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
