drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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