I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize