sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
