You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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