when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
