How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
