dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
