I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize