I smell stomach acid.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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