JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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