I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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