I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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