i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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