does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I want a musical about memes.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
