I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
