drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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