hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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