How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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