pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
