I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
