I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
