Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
