He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
