yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
