i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
