yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize