He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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