If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize