I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
