We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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