I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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