last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.