i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
