My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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