I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
