ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
