i just had sex bonerless
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
