It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
