So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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