We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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