It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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