I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
