have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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