i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
