he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
