get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
