I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize