Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My dick has a subreddit
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
