U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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