I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
