a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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