they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
