he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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