Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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