Is it because I queefed?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
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A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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