My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
